Teaching self-control is an essential part of biblical character education for kids, helping them learn to manage emotions, make wise choices, and grow in faith. Through Scripture-based lessons, engaging activities, and meaningful discussions, children can discover how God’s Word guides them to practice patience, restraint, and self-control in everyday situations.
How do you define self-control for kids?
Self-control is when you slow down, think, and make a good choice before you act. So often, we want to react impulsively. Kids push when someone approaches too closely, grab the toy they want to play with, and scream when they are upset. Adults also struggle with self-control, but it may manifest in different ways.
When we exercise self-control, we take time to reflect on our choices and make decisions that show kindness to others and to ourselves.
Self-Control Bible Lesson for Kids
Are you looking for an engaging way to teach children about what the Bible says about self-control? Use the Bible story of Jesus Tempted in the Desert to help facilitate the learning. Our scripted lessons, printable crafts, and discussion questions are a great resource to help kids learn about this important character trait.
WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT self-control?
The Bible has a lot to say about self-control, especially in our interactions with others and in the face of temptation.
We will face temptations in our lives. Temptation is the desire to do something we shouldn’t, something that goes against what God would want. It isn’t a sin to be tempted, but it is a sin to act on it. One way to resist temptation is to exercise self-control. When we can control our actions, we can resist temptation.
The good news is that self-control is a Fruit of the Spirit. As we draw closer to God and His Spirit, we are promised help with self-control.
Here are some Bible verses about self-control:
James 1:19 - “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Proverbs 4:25-27 - “Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or to the left; keep your foot from evil.”
2 Timothy 1:7 - “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-control.”
There are also several Bible stories about people who demonstrated self-control. In Daniel 1, Daniel and his friends demonstrated self-control in their dietary choices while in captivity. David showed self-control by sparing Saul’s life in 1 Samuel 24 and again in 1 Samuel 26. Jesus showed self-control when tempted in the desert in Matthew 4. He also demonstrated self-control when he was led to the cross. He could have called down angels to save him, yet he chose to die for our sins.
HOW DO YOU TEACH KIDS ABOUT self-control?
Lessons and activities to teach bigger kids about what the Bible says about self-control.
Take time to teach children the definition of self-control and explore various examples of self-control. These examples can include stories from the Bible where people chose self-control (or didn’t choose self-control), as well as modern, real-life situations kids may face.
Discuss these stories and scenarios, then apply the material by having children role-play situations that require self-control. Use hands-on crafts and activities to help them engage with the topic. Before they head home, challenge them to practice self-control throughout the week.
SELF-CONTROL JARS
Showing self-control can be hard! When emotions are running high, it can be especially difficult for little learners to pause and take time to calm down and make good decisions.
Together, brainstorm some things that might help your class to calm down and be ready to make a good decision. These could include going for a walk, reading a book, counting to ten, hugging a trusted adult/stuffed animal, etc.
Then show them the Self-Control Jar. This is a simple tool that can help kids when they are feeling emotional. When they shake the jar, they can take deep breaths and watch the glitter settle to the bottom.
For a recipe and instructions on how to create your own Self-Control Jar, check out Self-Control for Little Learners.
Places I can Show Self-Control Booklet
With children, it is often (always!) helpful to set expectations before going to a place or doing an activity. Similarly, brainstorming how to use self-control in different contexts is a valuable activity. It will help children use their critical thinking to identify different places and the expectations in each. For instance, they can run and scream at a park, but they can’t run and scream at a library.
Take time to discuss and brainstorm how to use self-control in various places. Then have kids record their thoughts in a printable booklet. Check out Self-Control for Little Learners for pages with dotted lines and space for a picture. And check out Self-Control for Older Kids for pages with sentence starters, lines to finish the sentences, and space for a picture.
Kids in kindergarten and first grade will use these picture-based cards to explore strategies to help them when they feel out of control.
Bible Sword Drill
Using a Sword Drill to introduce children to the Bible is an effective way to help them navigate the pages of Scripture and understand the relationships among the books of the Bible. A Sword Drill is a simple exercise in which children are given a verse to look up and then must search for it.
To help kids with this, show them where the Table of Contents is in the Bible. Then teach them how to locate the book in the Table of Contents, flip to the page, and search for the chapter and verse. Initially, this will be a time-consuming and awkward task for children to manage. There will be some hand-holding and guidance. However, this is an important skill for children to have, so fostering this skill is worthwhile.
You’ll find printable cards with the verses and lined pages for children to write the verses in the Self-Control Bible Lesson for Older Kids.
BIBLE STORY about Self Control - Jesus Tempted in the Desert
Bible stories are an effective means of teaching godly character traits. Take time to read a story about self-control, discuss it, and complete an activity that connects to the story.
The story of Jesus being tempted in the desert, found in Matthew 4:1-11, centres around the theme of self-control.
After reading the story, discuss the concept of self-control. Satan tried to tempt Jesus multiple times, but each time Jesus was able to quote Scripture and do the right thing. Although Jesus was alone in the desert, hungry and likely tired and thirsty, he still demonstrated self-control.
Next, do an activity to reinforce the learning. The Self-Control Bible Lesson for Older Kids includes a blank one-page comic strip in which children can draw the story events in comic form.
The Self-Control Bible Lesson for Little Learners includes a printable craft of a desert scene. Kids will use the provided pieces to create a scene of Jesus in the desert, complete with a movable piece that says “When I am tempted, God helps me with self-control.”
MORE Crafts and activities to teach about self-control
Self-Control Marshmallow Snack: Have a conversation with children that sometimes self-control can be very hard. We might want something immediately, and waiting can be difficult. Then give each child one marshmallow. Tell them that if they can wait for two minutes, they will get another marshmallow. This is a simple (and tasty) way for kids to practice self-control.
Self-Control Traffic Light: A traffic light signals to stop, slow down, and go. This can be a great analogy for self-control because we need to stop or slow down to make a good decision. Create a simple traffic-light craft to serve as a visual aid. Check out Housing a Forest for a simple traffic-light craft using a popsicle stick and construction paper. And Crafting a Fun Life features a traffic-light craft using DIY puffy paint.
Pausing Games: Play simple games that require children to move around and then pause. This could be Freeze Dance, Freeze Tag, or Red Light, Green Light. Then help kids connect that this is like self-control. Sometimes we have to pause (or freeze) so we can make a good decision.
WOULD YOU LIKE MORE LESSONS ABOUT building godly character?
This lesson on self-control is part of a seven-part Character Education mini-series. Other lessons include contentment, kindness, courage, forgiveness, perseverance, and honesty.
